A is for Death
by Dyrne-Faemne
Summary: text message: please get tested for Aids right away, Sarah. One of the boys finds it on his phone. The test results are... ,
1. disturbing message

Aids! Was it possible? The voice message from Sarah said he should get tested. But that couldn't be, he had always taken precaution.Maybe the government lied to keep down panic. Could one get it from a kiss? A touch? Damn it! He struck out and kicked the wall, and saw and felt the wall give, leaving a hole behind. He stood back, breathing hard, not from the exertion but from the fear. All this time, he thought it would be a demon, or some Supernatural thing that would take him out. He felt the sweat begin to run down his neck, and his face redden. What if he had it? That was no cure, only death at the end.

He turned and saw his brother come in the door, carrying a bag of take out. One hand held out the cup of coffee, and he reached out to grab it and then pulled back. His brother's look turned to puzzlement. 'I can't touch him, I can't risk him.'

"What's wrong? Do you have a fever or did you just wake up?"

"I just dozed off for a few minutes that's all. What did you get us?"

"I found this family restaurant down the road, and got roast beef, potatoes, corn, and pie for dessert. Even a mint afterwards if you eat your veggies." The food was placed on the table in their containers, and both brothers sat down.

"It smells good, but I am not hungry."

"Since when? I know it's not hamburgers, but it's red meat. If you don't want the corn, I'll take it." His eyes studying his brother, looking for the reason for this behavior.

"Okay Florence Nightingale, I'm fine. Just not really hungry. But I'll eat." He opened the top and looked down at the food, any other time it would have been great, but he was sure it would taste like dust now. He picked up his fork and took a bite. Looking over he saw his brother still watching him, but eating.

The food tasted more like sawdust, and he managed to eat half of it. He stood up, and glanced at his brother's empty plate. "Take my corn. I'm going to get a soda, I'll get you one too." He walked out of the room, and quickly moved around the corner, and out of sight he bent out emptying his stomach. He stood up, feeling shaky as he wiped his mouth, and looked up at the sky. "God, if you would just help me, I promise to do better." He waited but no reply, so he turned around, headed for the drink machine.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam answered the phone on the second ring. After talking for a few minutes and promising to stop by in a few days he hung up. They could use a break, and Bobby was a lot different from dad. He decided to check the messages, in case Dad had called.

Sam paled as he listed, he was staring at the tv, but not seeing the show. He heard the door open, and he turned slowly, worry and pain revealed in his eyes that he turned to his brother. Dean saw the phone and knew his little brother knew. "Sam..."

TBC


	2. pretending I'm fine

Dean shut the door, and just walked over to the table and picked up the box with his piece of pie, and a plastic fork. Sam stood up and hugged him, and Dean closed his eyes for a moment and then gently pushed his brother away.

"What's wrong Sammy?"

Sam's pale face looked down at his brother, and took a deep breath. "I know. I heard the message while I was looking for messages from Dad. Dean, you have to get tested now, we can go over to that clinic down the street." Sam knew he was rambling but he couldn't stop. "We know that we can find a cure, I mean we know stuff most people don't."

Dean ran a hand threw his hair and shook his head. "Sam, theres nothing to worry about. I use protection, and I don't remember any Sarah."

Sam pursed his lips as his eyes blazed. "This is not something that you can shrug off, Dean. You know that can kill you, and condoms don't prevent it. Sooner we know, the sooner we can find you some help."

"Sammy, I don't feel sick." Sam reached out to touch Dean's shoulder, and the older Winchester pulled away, as if it his brother's touch might burn him. "Don't. If it is, I don't want you to catch it."

"Gee, Dean. You don't catch it that way, and I'm not going to do the dirty with you, so I should be safe." He reached out and touched his brother's arm. '_I can't go on without him, if he dies, so do I. I'll have nothing to live for. I'll find a way to fix this, I must.'_

_Dean just moved over to the bed and sat down, and opened the computer. Sam sat down next to him, and knew what Dean was researching as he typed. Dean quickly went over what he saw. _Some people, but not all, develop symptoms within a month or two of exposure to HIV. These people may have a flu-like illness with such symptoms as:Fever , Rash ,Headache ,Loss of appetite ,Swollen glands (enlarged lymph nodes), Achy muscles and joints. These early symptoms usually disappear within a week to a month. Most HIV-infected people who experience these early symptoms won't see any more signs of the infection for at least a few years.

Both boys remembered the fever, headache, and throat problems just last week. Dean had thought he had had a mild case of flu. But maybe it wasn't. Dean put the computer down and stood up. "I'm going to take a shower." Sam watched him walk away and then picked up the computer and began to read more. 'If Dean has HIV nothing more will show up for 8-9 years. Plenty of time to do something for him. Sam began to send out emails, he needed answers, and help, just in case.

When Dean came out of the bathroom, Sam was on the computer, playing a card game. He looked up at Dean standing there in nothing more than a towel. He watched his older brother move over to his bag and search for clothes.

"I called the clinic, and they said it shouldn't be a wait, as it's rather quiet over there today."

"Thanks, Sam. But I don't think I really need to go. This Sarah probably sent that message to the wrong person. We both know that some demon is the thing that's going to take me out. Not some little virus." Dean grabbed his clothes and went back towards the bathroom.

"Dean." Dean turned and looked at his brother. Sam gave him that look. "Do it for me Dean, I'm worried about you."

"Okay little brother. But it's a waste of time. I'm fine."

"Sure you are, Dean, but I'd like a doctor to tell us that."

Dean turned and went in and closed the bathroom door. Sam shut the computer down, and grabbed his jacket. _'You don't fool me big brother, you're scared and so am I.'_

Dean came out and grabbed his jacket. "Well come on, and maybe afterwards the doc will give you a big red lollypop." Dean opened the door and headed for the Impala. Sam just shut and locked the door.


	3. testing

Dean sat in the examining room, wearing the latest in paper night clothes. It was cold in the room, and Dean would have walked out if not for Sam standing there, leaning against the wall. Sam had several pamphlets in his hand, and he tried to look calm for Dean. But his switching his weight from one leg to another, and crossing and un-crossing his arms were a dead giveaway.

"Sam, relax." Dean was picking at the paper that covered the table he sat on. Throwing the tiny bits on the floor. '_What am I going to do? I never thought I'd catch anything. Maybe mono, but that's it. I guess I am being punished for all my one night stands. But what else do I have? I can't have a special girl, or a family of my own. I can't risk it, losing her like I did mom. Did I infect anyone? I hope not."_ Dean was totally lost in thought when the door opened and a middle-aged man came in. The doctor had a folder in his hand and looked at Dean and then Sam. He turned to Dean, and smiled. " I'm doctor Jameson, so mister Mulder, I gather you haven't been feeling well."

"Well I just need a test done. My brother over there is making me."

The doctor turned and glanced at Sam, before turning back. "You got a message from a girl you knew, and you need testing for HIV. We can do that, but I'd like to check you out first." Dean just nodded, as the doctor moved closer.

"Well you seem fine, no swelling, or fever. Have you had a blood transfusion in the last few years?"

"Yes, twice."

"Um, I'll have the nurse draw some blood for the quick test. Since I gather you are in a hurry to know. We should have the results in under 30 minutes. If that comes back positive we will do the blot test to confirm it."

The nurse came in, with a small tray and came over to Dean. Sam turned away, he hated needles.

0000000000000000000000000000000

"We need to get you started on a treatment. I'm sorry mister Mulder, but your CD4 cell counts are below 200. You have Aids. Have you ever been tested before?"

"No, never thought I needed to." Dean sat on the edge of the table, dressed in his street clothes.

"If you had, maybe we could have caught it at HIV, and prevented a lot of this. You will have to change your ways. No drinking, smoking. Get plenty of sleep and no stress, and eat right."

Sam moved over to his brother's side, and put his hand on the shoulder that didn't pull away. "He'll do whatever he has to. I'll see to it."

Dean looked up at Sam, with a lost empty look. "Just what am I supposed to do, Sammy? I don't know anything else. The family business is all I know."

The doctor looked at the two brothers, and felt compassion for them. He left for a moment and came back. In his hand was a brown paper bag, and he handed it to Dean. "Here's a month supply of medicine for you. You must take it like I told you. There's also prescriptions to fill for later. But you need to start right away. I am sorry, Dean." He didn't bother to tell him he had about 5 years at the most to live. From the look in his eyes, he knew already.

Sam reached over and gave Dean a hug, and Dean rested his head on Sam's chest for a moment. Then he pulled away, jumped off the table, and grabbed his coat. "Let's get out of here."

"Dean. It's not over, we'll find something. We are not giving up man."

Dean grabbed the doorknob, and glanced over his shoulder. "I'm not going out without a fight Sam. But I'll take all the demons I can with me."

Sam picked up the bag that Dean had left on the table. He'd make sure Dean took the medicine, and he'd find a miracle too.

000000000000000000000000000000


	4. I refuse to live this way

Sam ducked as the long scaly arm came towards him, as he lifted the oar and struck out. It splintered as it hit, but the lizard like creature bent at the waist for a moment and then turned, the membrane crossing like a shutter over the eye sideways before it extended it's claws and stuck out again. Sam backed away, as he reached into the back of his jeans, and found something missing.

Two shots rang out, as brain matter sprayed out. Sam glanced at his brother, who had just killed this ones mate. She lay at his feet, having been ripped up the middle. "Hey Sammy, we could have some boots made of their hides."

"Forget it Dean..At least no more kids will be disappearing. Let's get out of here."

"Hold your drawers boy. After this we can go get some seafood."

"I think I'll pass on that, Dean." He looked at his brother in the moonlight, and saw a slight stagger. "You okay?"

"Sure, I'm..."

"Fine, yeah so you say. Did you take your medicine?"

"Yes, mom."

Dean turned and moved away from the waters edge and towards the woods. Sam followed, he just couldn't get past the feeling something was wrong with his brother. Though Dean denied it. It was a quiet walk, except for an occasional twig snapping, or a night bird calling. At the car, Dean unlocked the door and got in, reaching over to unlock Sam's.

Dean started the car as Sam got in. "Want to go play some pool, have a beer?"

"No, I think we should turn in, it's getting late."

"You can little brother, but I want to go out. We need to make some money."

"Then I'll do it, and you can turn in early."

Dean turned a hard glance at his brother. "Sam! I am not going to live my life like some ancient grandfather. I'm doing fine, I never have needed a lot of sleep, and a pretty girl, is just the medicine I need now."

"You can't. You don't need to be drinking on that medicine you're taking either. Do it for me? Rest?" He turned on that puppy dog eye look, and hoped it worked, or he might have to slug his big brother.

Dean reached up and rubbed his face with one hand while he kept the other on the steering wheel. "I might as well just die, then Sammy. What have I got now? Nothing. No pleasures, no entertainment."

'_How do I help him? I can't blame him, the only thing he has now is hunting. But at least he will be around for a long time.' _He turned back to Dean. "How about we just grab a bite to eat and catch a movie?"

"Sammy, just stop it. I know you mean well. But I can't live like this. For the past three months, I have followed the rules, been a good boy, and I feel fine."

"Do you really want to leave me behind alone? Unprotected?"

"You know better than that."

"Then, please, Dean, for me. Take care of yourself. I don't want to be alone, the last Winchester."

"Okay, you win. We eat and a movie. But no chick fic movie."

"You can pick, and tomorrow we can get back on the road. Want to go visit Bobby, or..."

"No, I don't want their pity."

Dean pulled the car into an alnight diner, and switched the ignition off. "If you're real good, Sammy, you can have an ice cream if you eat your vegetables."

Sam just smiled at his brother, as they walked into the double glass doors into the almost empty diner.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Later at the movie theatre Dean wanted another drink and left Sam sitting there watching a martial arts movie. He stopped in the restroom to take a leak. He was washing his hands when Sam came in. Dean had cut his hand on the soap dispenser and was rinsing it off under the cold water. Sam came in, and came over.

"What happened Dean?"

"Just nicked it, stay away from the soap thing. Don't touch it." Said Dean as Sam reached for his hand. "You know the risk Sam. My blood can't touch you."

"Dean, you can't give it to me, that easily. I don't have any cuts. Besides we always patch each other up. I have a bandaid in my pocket.

"Two twinkle toes, and one has aids." Both turned to see a very large, compact built man with a thick mustache. "We don't need to contaminating our bathrooms, or anything else. Why don't you go to San Francisco where your kind are."

Sam turned to fully face the man, his jaw set. "Listen man, you are so wrong. We are not gay, my brother can't hurt you."

"Yeah he can. Need to burn anything he touched, he shouldn't be breathing the same air even. Get him out of here. I don't want to touch him."

"So ignorant aren't you? "

"Why you..." He lunged for Sam, and Dean stepped in front of his brother. The man stopped in mid-step, and fell back a step, then turned and rushed out. Dean turned to his brother.

"Come on Sam, lets get out of here. I've seen that movie anyway."

Sam didn't say anything, he just followed his brother out into the lobby and then out the door. Dean drove to the motel in silence. When they arrived in their room, Dean headed for the bathroom for a shower. Sam sat down on his bed and turned on the TV.

"Sam?! Can you get me a pair of sweat pants and tee-shirt out of my bag?"

"Sure, Dean!" 

Sam went over to the bag and began to look for some sweats and came across the meds, in the bottom of the bag.. He knew Dean would need to take them again before bedtime. He pulled them out, and sat them on the night stand. It was then he took a better look. The bottles were almost full. He picked one up, and ..."Damn it, Dean!" The meds were 3 months old. Dean had not been taking his meds. Sam sat down on the bed, staring daggers at the bathroom door, waiting for his brother. '_Why, Dean? It's what can keep you alive. You just wait until you get out of that bathroom.'_


	5. Why?

A/N: I didn't think anyone wanted to read this. It's not exactly a happy story. This is a very hard thing to write about, and the research is so depressing. I haven't decided if Dean gets a cure.

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Dean stood in the bathroom, under the hot water streaming down over his body. His trembling hands checked his arm pits, groin and neck for swelling. 'Why?' He looked up at the ceiling, tears blending with the water. 'why? I give everything I have for everyone else. So why? I want a wife and kids of my own...but the demon would kill them. I used protection, and still I get this. I want to live, Sammy needs me, I can't leave. The meds make me sick. I am tired of this life, so tired of fighting, but it's what I am good at. It's what Sam needs. The other's will kill him, if I'm not here.' Dean waited for an answer, and then slammed his fist into the tiles of the shower. The pain didn't bother his as much as the pain in his heart.

Dean stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. He looked into the foggy mirror, running a hand over it's surface. 'I'm losing weight now.' The eyes in the mirror were haunted, and he looked down and then back up, his expression changed, the cocky big brother was back. He wrapped the towel around his hips, grabbed the second towel and began to rub his hair, as he opened the door. He glanced at Sam with a smile.

"I guess you get a cold shower."

Sam sat there with a stern look on his face, his lips thin. He threw the sweats at his brother. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"You know!" He threw the bottle at Dean. "You aren't taking your meds. Do you want to die?" His voice rising as he stood up, his hands fisted. "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm fine, Sam. The meds make me sick, and I don't need them anyway."

"Don't need them? Says who? From what I can see you only took them for a week, I counted them. Didn't give them a chance. What do I have to do, hold you down and shove them down your throat?"

Dean threw the towel down, and looked up his green eyes glowing with anger. "You just try it little brother. Any time. I'm fine, look at me, Sammy. Do I look sick?"

"No, but you are. God, Dean, I'd do anything for you, give anything to make you well. But you aren't helping. If it were me, would you let me do this?"

Dean picked up the pants from the floor and began to put them on. "No, I would kick your ass."

"Shall I start kicking yours then?" Came the soft reply. Dean looked up at Sam, as he dropped the wet towel on the floor. Their eyes met.

"I want to be as I was. I want to go out a warrior, fighting the war, not in some hospice, with no dignity, someone doing everything for me. You watching me go slowly, it tearing you apart. That's not what I want." He lowered his head, as Sam stepped up, and wrapped his arms around his brother, and Dean leaned into his brother for a few minutes before he pulled away. He wiped at his eyes, and turned away, not seeing the wet cheeks of his brother.

"Let's order some food, and see if there's anything good on TV."

Sam just sat down on his bed, worn out from the past few minutes. "Sounds good to me."

Dean picked up the phone book, flipping through it. 'Such it up, Dean, you can't be weak. You're a Winchester. Need to find someone to protect Sam for when I can't.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


	6. You don't care

Bobby sat down at the table, it was late and the boys were asleep. He had been searching for a way to help Dean, the hours he put in reading, and searching online. The coffee in front of him had grown cold, and the sandwich had one bite taken out of it. If he had had kids he would have wanted Dean and Sam as those kids. He loved them as though they were. He'd fought with John often enough over them. He wondered where John was, and why he wasn't here for his boys. That man needed his butt kicked.

He heard soft footsteps behind him, and then Dean sat down beside him. "Couldn't sleep?"

The older Winchester brother just shook his head.

"Dean, you know you are welcome to stay as long as you want. This is your home too, always had been. That offer to extend to that old fart who named you."

"I know Bobby. I have a favor to ask. I don't trust too many people..."

"Well thats the way it is for a hunter. But if I can do it I will. What do you need boy?"

"Take care of Sammy for me."

Bobby stood up and paced a few times before looking at the younger man. "Dean, you aren't going anywhere, you can do it."

Dean stood up, and went over to the window and looked out into the night. "I wont be forever, and I have to know someone is taking care of my little brother."

Bobby walked up to Dean, and put his hand on his shoulder. "I'll do whatever I can, for either of you boys. Though I never knew you were a quitter."

Dean turned around and faced his old friend. "Quitter! I'm no quitter, Bobby. But we both know what's going to happen. There's no cure."

"There's a man in Germany, they say he can heal. Not like that preacher you saw. I'll give you the money to go see him. Hell I even go with you."

"Thanks, Bobby.I don't believe in that anymore. I wont risk anyone else, either. No one else dies because of me."

Bobby watched Dean avoid looking directly at him. The boy was afraid, but he would never admit it. He was afraid to, for them all.

"There is something going on in Virginia, and I think day after tomorrow I will go check it out. Sam can stay here with you."

Bobby understood what Dean was trying to do. "You know he wont go for that."

"It's been six months now, and I am getting weaker, I can't risk Sam. We have done 56 jobs in the past six months, but I am beginning to lose my sharpness."

"I know what you're thinking."

"Isn't it the best way? I hate hospital beds, being dependant on others. That's not my way, Bobby. I'll keep on hunting, until that moment when it's all over."

Bobby started to answer when there was a knock on the door, andhe went to answer it, with a special 45 in hand. He opened the door and stepped back. "John, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see my sons. Why didn't anyone call me? I have a right to know about Dean."

"Do you now? "

John walked in and glanced around the semi dark living room. Then he spotted Dean. Their eyes met for a moment and Dean turned and walked to the room he was sharing with Sam. John started towards Dean, but Bobby grabbed his arm.

"We need to talk."

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Sam walked into the kitchen to the smell of breakfast cooking. He stopped short at the doorway seeing his father sitting there, drinking coffee. "Dad?" Sam sat down at the table, as Bobby poured him a cup of coffee.

John turned and nodded his head."Morning Sam."

"Who told you?" The coffee ignored.

"Missouri, did."

"How long have you known?"

"A couple of weeks."

Sam gave his dad a dirty look. "A few weeks, and you are just getting in touch? Some father you are. Never there when you are needed. We don't need you now."

"Sam! Don't take that tone with me. I'm still your father." John stood up facing his son across the table. Bobby removed the pan from the fire, and moved to the table, the pan close to Johns exposed arm.

"Not by my choice!"

"Don't fight." All turned to see Dean at the door, looking pale.

John went over and gave his oldest son a hug. Dean moved away and sat down. Bobby filled the plates and joined them. John sat down, and picked up his fork.

"Dean, I was thinking..."

"Instead of thinking, dad, why don't you do something?" said a still angry Sam.

"I will. I'm not going to lose your brother."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure, Dean." replied Bobby as he tasted the eggs, that felt like rocks as it hit his stomach.

Sam brought his hand up and opened several bottles and placed them next to Dean. Dutifly Dean took his pills and swallowed them with his juice. Sam nodded, as he closed the bottles and began to eat.

A/N: Next chapter is back to action.


	7. what would you give?

John was outside, staring at nothing, a half empty bottle of jack Daniels in his hand. That is where Dean found him. Dean turned hoping to avoid any conversation with his father. He walked towards his car, and opened the door and sat in his seat and laid his head back, and closed his eyes.

John turned and looked at his oldest boy. Then moved over to the car, and opened the passenger side and slide in beside Dean. He laid his head back and closed his eyes. He waited. The quiet was deafening, until Dean spoke without opening his eyes.

"Dad, why did you come?"

"Because I'm your father."

"Wrong answer, you didn't come before when I was dying."

"Yeah, and I am sorry, boy. But I am here now. I am searching, my contacts are searching. I'm going to find a way to save you."

"You can't. I already had a reprieve. One per customer."

John turned and looked at his son, seeing the pale skin, colorless lips, and how the tee-shirt hung on his son's frame. "Not the way I see it. Trust me Dean."

"Bobby is going to take care of Sammy for me."

"No, he isn't. He's not your father."

"No, but he cares about us. He'll be there for him."

John put his hand out, and touched the side of Dean's face._ 'I wish I could take this for my boy. Mary forgive me for not doing better for our boys. Help me, what do I do?' _Dean pulled away, and opened his eyes.

"Dad, Sam needs you, I'm fine. Haven't you noticed Sam is worn out. He doesn't sleep, eat, and he just worries. that's not what I want for Sammy."

"I'm here for you."

"I don't need a shoulder, and you too touchy feely since you got here." Dean got out of the car, and glanced at his dad. "Besides, you have old Jack to hang onto." He shut the door and walked away, leaving John sitting there, the bottle sitting between his legs. John took the bottle and tossed it out the car.

oooooooooooooooooooo

Dean came in as Bobby was talking on the phone, and listened. Bobby was refusing to go on a hunt. Dean put his hand on Bobbys shoulder, and nodded, pointing to himself. When Bobby rang off, Dean stood waiting.

"Where do I go? What's the hunt?"

"Dean..."

"Come on Bobby. I'm fine."

"If you do, then I come to."

"Alright, I'll watch out for you."

"You do that, I would like to go hunting with you again. We need to get ready to go."

"Fine, I'll be ready in ten. I'm just going for a shower."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

The night was moonless and hard to see in the woods. But the two hunters moved silently as they searched. It was too quiet, as there was no sound of any night animals moving about. Moving beneath the canopy of trees, that would shelter them from a direct attack from the air, they searched.

The attack came from an opening in the trees. Bobby raised his rifle and fired at the gargoyle like thing. It dove at them, as Dean used his .45 firing the full clip at the thing. It struck, hitting both men, knocking Bobby into a tree, and Dean to the right. He fell and rolled, as claws swung at his head, barely missing.

Bobby, with his head exploding, he dug out his 57 magnum and began to fire, careful not to hit Dean. Dean came to his knees, and reached into his jacket he pulled out his second gun. A long arm with claws, knocked the gun away, and Dean pulled his favorite knife. He slashed out, seeing the blood poured from the deep gash as the creature screamed. "Come on you fudly,smelly thing. Let's play." He stabbed the creature, and ducked beneath another clawed hand, as he picked up his gun, and fired point blank into the stomach. He watched it fall back, as Bobby came over. The creature fell, clawing at it's stomach crying out, sounding like a hurt puppy. Bobby looked down at it, and fired one last bullet, right in the head.

He turned to Dean, Dean swayed on his feet. Dean just gave him a tired smile. "I'm fine, you okay, Bobby?"

"Yeah, I think. Can you help me find my head, I believe it fell off."

ooooooooooooooooooo

Sam stood outside on the porch, he didn't want to talk to his father. His eyes burned, and he was so tired, but he had no time for sleep. He was worried about Dean, out with Bobby on a hunt without him. He wondered why Dean was going down so fast, Dean put up a good front, but not good enough.

A dark mist formed in the yard, and thickened, taking form. Sam reached for his gun. Moments later a man stood there, normal except for the eyes. A demon, and Sam felt his hate rise. The demon stood there, looking at Sam, and smiled.

"Hello, Sam."

"What do you want?"

"Wan't? Why to help you of course. What do you want the most?"

"I'm not dealing with you."

"You sure? Not even for Dean? Yes, I know about him. I speeded up his disease, wont miss him causing trouble. I love watching you and he suffer over this."

"Go away."

"If I do, Dean dies. You can stop it."

"How?"

"What would you do, or give for your precious brother's life?"

A/N: chapter 8 finished. not sure of the ending yet which will most likely be chapter 9... to save Dean by sacrificing John, or Sam, let Dean die of Aids, or die of paranormal causes.


	8. Just shoot me now

"What would you give for your brother's life, Sammy? Would you trade your father? Would you trade yourself?" The demon stood there, a confident smile on it's lips. Sam stood on the porch, leaning against the post, the gun dangling in his hand by his leg.

"Demon's lie. You don't help people, you destroy them."

"My father wants the Winchester's to stay out of his business."

"You started it by killing my mother."

"You don't know your mother's secret either do you? But you...father wants you. He wants your father dead, and Dean to quit. I can save his life, I'll cripple him so he can't hunt anymore though. But he will be alive. Alive to live the life he should have lived. He can have a home, wife and kiddies, one he can even name Sammy. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"My brother would not want to live crippled."

"You only have two choices here, Sammy. He lives without the use of his feet, or he dies, and I can make the rest of his time so horrid, he'll kill himself."

"Will you sacrifice your father? Will you kill him?"

"Yes." Said Sam without hesitation, as one hand tightened on the beam. "For Dean."

"Would you stop fighting us?"

"Yes. For Dean."

Would you join us?"

Sam stood up to his full height, and glared at the demon. "Tell your father..."

John came around the corner of the house, and fired at the demon, rock salt rained down to the ground as the demon vanished, his laughter still fading away. John looked up at his son. "What was that all about? Why didn't you shoot?"

"I had to hear what he wanted." Sam stepped off the porch and looked towards the headlights coming down the dirt road leading to Bobbies.

"What did it want? You know it lies."

"Yes. still...never mind."

John turned as the car stopped and the lights turned off. Car doors slamming and then the two hunters came over to where John stood. "That boy of yours is damn good. I would go hunting with him anytime." He turned to Dean. "I'm proud of you Dean, and thanks for coming with me." With those words Bobby entered the house. Dean stood there, with a surprised look on his face.

John just looked at Dean. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just think I'll take a shower and turn in. Hey Sammy, don't stay up to late. You need your beauty sleep. Not all are as lucky as me, and have it naturally." He turned with that smirk and walked into the house. Sam turned to follow his brother.

"Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

"It'll be okay."

Sam turned again and followed his brother.

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John walked into the living room, and found Bobby watching tv. He had a beer and a open bottle of asprin on the coffee table. John came and sat down on the old chair off to the side. "Bobby?"

"What?"

"You're not their father."

Bobby turned and scratched his beard. "I know that, Johnny boy. More like an uncle. Dean is one of the best I've seen. If only he wasn't afraid of his emotions. Feeling he can't reveal them, because daddy says a real man doesn't show weakness. He's not a robot. You don't know how lucky you are to have kids. I was never that lucky, John. Because of you John, he is a wanted felon for multiple murders...that will never go away. Isn't it time they had a life? A home? Hunt part time if they must, but have a life. Dean has never had a real job, and he probably doesn't remember the only real home he ever had. Help them have that, John."

John picked up Bobby's beer and finished the half bottle. "I want that for them, someday they will."

"Will they John? How? They will die, fighting your fight?"

"I'll try. Just destroy that demon and we can be a real family again."

"You never listen John. Dean doesn't have that long. You can't even offer him that now?"

Bobby stood up and walked out of the room, leaving John sitting there. He couldn't talk to that man. Maybe he could get through to the boys. He could offer Dean a job, and Sammy could work at the library, or a job as a researcher or something. They could buy a trailer and put it on his property.He'd drug Dean and drag him to see that healer in Germany if he had to. He went off to see the boys.

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The bar was lively as Dean walked in, he checked out the other's in the room before walking over to the bar and ordering a drink. A few men were playing pool, and Dean took his beer and walked over. "Up for a game?" The other guy nodded and Dean smiled and reached for a pool cue and picked up the chalk, and caulked it, as the other man set up the table. Dean leaned his stick up against his stool and took off his leather jacket and lay it over his stool. He smiled at the pretty girl who was watching him, it dropped when he saw the pity on her face as she looked at his gaunt frame. The babe magnet had lost his crown.

The tall bearded man let Dean break. It was a mistake as Dean proceeded to run the table, and the other man smiled, and offered Dean another beer. They weren't playing for money so no loss. Dean was enjoying himself as he began another game.

An hour later Dean went over to the bar to get 2 beers. A brown haired girl came up to him, her brown eyes gazing up at him. "Can you teach me to play?" A simple request with a hidden meaning. Dean took the two beers.

"Sure, would you like a drink first?"

"A jin and tonic." He nodded to the bartender.

"I'll be right back, got to drop this off first." The girl sat down and waited as Dean went back to the table and handed one of the beers to the guy he had played with. He picked up his jacket and headed to the bar.

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Dean left the apartment, his jacket held in one clinched hand. He rammed his fist into the outside wall in the hallway, and then as he went down the stairs, he saw the trash cans. He kicked them, before going to his car. '_Damn it, just kill me now! I never had that happen before. It's not fair! My rep is shot! Little Dean let me down!I can't eat, I'm good friends with the toilet,my gums hurt, and my bones ache. I just want to die, now.' _He tossed his little packets into the street, he didn't need them anymore.

He got into the car and drove, he didn't know where he was going. He just drove, not really noticing anything.

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A/N: There is only one or two chapters to go on this story.


	9. how it ends

A/N: I want to thank all those who reviewed this story. You really made my week. This is the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Demon's came out the woods, eyes burning brightly as they moved towards the small house. The large pitt bull outside howled and then tore the skin on his back to get under the back porch. Bobby glanced outside and knew it had started.

"Demons, coming quick!" He yelled as he moved for weapons. John came out of the kitchen, several guns in his belt, and bottles in his pockets. Sam came out of the bedroom, and Dean came from the hallway. Both were armed. John moved over to the front window and pulled the curtain back.

"Yeah, they are in back too. We are in for a fight tonight."

"Bring it on, I feel like killing something." Replied Dean.

Sam moved over to another window, and wished they had a few more hunters in the place. He watched his father move towards the kitchen, his arms loaded with weapons and ammo for the battle to come.

Bobby, had a stack of his weapons beside him, as he raised his window and sat down in the chair. The older hunter removed the safely and waited. Sam glanced around, and wondered if any of them would survive this. He moved to join his dad in the kitchen, leaving Dean and Bobby to cover the front of the house. The bedrooms had no windows to worry about.

As Dean took up the other window, he felt nausea rise, and swallowed several times. He didn't have to time for this now. '_Man, I can't let anyone get hurt. I'll be sick later.' _He turned when he heard steps on the porch, and then a large bang on the door, and it flew open. Dean opened fire as it crashed against the wall, two demons stood there, and Dean just wrinkled his nose at the brimstone scent that drifted to his nose. Dean bent over and gagged, as Bobby jumped to his feet and moved and fired, slamming the door shut again. Then he moved back to the window. With the symbols and salt, they couldn't enter the place, but they could get close.

Dean stood straight and moved to the window, and seeing the eyes he fired. He heard the gun shots in the kitchen, and glass breaking. The smell of gunpowder didn't help his stomach either. He felt dizzy but he didn't care.

_0000000000000000000_

John opened the back door and blew the demon on the back porch off it when it fired both barrels at the same time. Then he broke the shotgun open and reloaded it. Sam was at the window, and he was firing over the sink. One came close, looking at him. Sam smiled just before he flung a glass of holy-water into its face. It howled and fell back, it's face steaming. Sam blasted it, and then took aim at the next one.

Sam turned as he saw his father fall. John was holding his shoulder, as he reached for his handgun. Sam fired over his dad's head. "Dad? Are you alright?"

John turned and just nodded. He had no time for injuries.

_oooooooooooooooooooo_

Bobby hurried over and pulled Dean away, as the window exploded, and glass flew. The demons were firing back. "At least they can't get in."

"No, they can't. Let's hope they didn't bring anyone who can."

Dean turned and fired at the now open door, as one demon in his haste tried to run inside. He burned as he stepped in. He fell backwards and burst into flames on the porch. Bobby reloaded as Dean fired off round after round. Hell must be empty tonight, thought Bobby.

oooooooooooooooooooo

Sam felt that light burst behind his eyes, and his head fire up. He heard the voice. 'Chose, Sammy. What will it be? Will you sacrifice your father? Dean wont survive this night. If you do what I ask, I'll call my children off. You can have what Bobby has offered you.'

Sam grabbed his head, and looked at his dad, and their eyes met for a moment.

'Go ahead Sam, it's easy. Just shoot him in the head. It's easy. Then your brother will live. You hold your brother's life in your hands.'

John turned back to the door, as it the yellow eyed demon rushed through it, throwing John towards the frig. John hit it and bounced off. It turned to Sam. "Do it Sam."

Sam turned towards his father, and raised the gun._ 'Dean's worth the price.' _ He aimed, and began to squeeze the trigger, as John watched him. He held up a hand to Sam.

Dean walked through the doorway and aimed and fired at the demon. I have had it with you. Die you mother killer!" Dean rushed him, firing off his .45 and then drove his knife deep into the demons chest, and twisted it with strength of the posessed. The demon shoved Dean away, and Dean fell to his knees, as the demon smiled at Sam.

Sam tried to fire and couldn't move. His heart racing as he looked at Dean. "No! Don't hurt him!"

"It's too late, Sam. You had your chance." The microwave rushed at Dean, it was an old heavy one, and Dean couldn't get out of the way. The heavy microwave stopped an inch away from Dean, and fell to the floor.

The demon looked at Sam. "Not bad, you could do so much better with my training you." The demon raised Dean up, and onto the ceiling. Sam's eyes widened with fear, as blood began to show on Dean's shirt. John tried to move but couldn't, he watched the scene and wished he were dead. He couldn't deal with this again.

At that moment Bobby ran in, speaking some spell as stabbed at the demon with a bone knife made from the bone of a saint, with relics inside the hollow handle. The demon released Dean, as he fell against the wall, his black blood flowing down the pale shirt. He looked surprised at the blade, that Bobby pulled out and stabbed him again.

"I thought that was destroyed a thousand years ago" Said the demon whose yellow eyes slowly closed, as he exploded with a flash of black dust. Sam released from the wall, rushed to Dean. He pulled him into his arms, holding him against his chest.

"Dean?" John moved over slowly and Bobby checked for demons, as it grew quiet. But all of them were gone. John sat heavily on the floor beside Dean.

Dean opened his eyes, and looked up. "Sammy, did we get him?" Sam's lips quivered as he tried to smile, as a tear fell onto Dean's cheek. Dean was having trouble breathing, and he felt cold to Sam's warm hands.

"Yeah, we did. We got him for mom, and Jessica. We can now have that normal family life. You know, a house, jobs, girl friends."

"Yeah...sounds...good...Sammy. Take...Bobby...up...on ...offer. Name...one...Dean."

Sam put his hand on Dean's face, looked into the fading eyes. "Don't leave me Dean, please."

"I'd rather go this..way. Like..a warrior. Way it was...meant...to..be. Love..ya..Sam."

John was crying, and Sam could barely see Dean for the tears blinding him. Bobby leaned down, and touched Dean's leg. Dean looked at him. "Take care of...him."

Bobby placed the knife in Dean's hand, closing his fingers over it. The older hunter fought for control, as his tears begin to trickle down.

John reached out and took Dean's hand and pulled it to him, as he looked at his oldest son. '_This can't be happening, it can't end this way. We're the good guys. If Bobby hadn't killed it, we could have made a trade. It's all his fault.'_

John stood up, and reached over and pulled Bobby to his feet, and punched Bobby in the jaw. Bobby fell to the floor, as Sam looked up.

_"Stop it you old fool. Leave Bobby alone or else."_

Dean slumped into Sam's arms, as Sam wrapped him tightly in his arms, burying his head face in Dean's neck. "NO! NO! no..., you promised always to be here...for...me. But you lied!"

John stood up, his posture one of an old man, as he walked towards the back door. He never looked back as he walked out into the night. Bobby watched him go, and then turned back to the hurting young man, how might well join his brother on the other side. They had to prepare.

Sam sat there rocking back and forth, his words muffled as Bobby just sat there, time had no meaning.

ooooooooooooooo

Sam reached for the glock at his side and picked it up. He glanced at Bobby, and put the gun to his head. He looked down at Dean's face. There was nothing here for him anymore. He would go where Dean was.

At that moment there was a glow behind Bobby. He turned around, as Sam looked up. A glowing angel stood there, looking down sadly at Sam. "Put it down Sam. Look." The Angel pointed to Dean, just as Dean's eyes opened and he took a breath.

"Dean! Dean! You are alive!" Sam broke out into a smile, and then he hugged his brother, as the angel smiled down at them, and looked at Bobby.

"They have earned this. But they don't need to fight anymore, other's will take up the fight. Sam's powers have been removed so they wont come after him again. Also Dean's."

"He has powers?"

"Yes, he just doesn't know it."

"Thank you, for helping them."

"I'm not the one you need to thank." The angel looked up and then at Bobby. Then the angel vanished. Sam looked up at Bobby.

"Can you believe it? Dean's alive!"

"Yes, I believe. How you feeling Dean?"

Dean sat up with help from Sam. "Like I just woke from a very bad nightmare. But it happened didn't it?"

"Yeah, it did."

The End...


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